Law in Hyperspeed

The ADDventures of a practicing attorney in a southern state. I hope those in the law and those with ADD can find some comfort and help in these postings. The only real person in this blog is the author. The people described in this blog mostly represent sterotypes of some of the characters I see in my travels.

Name:
Location: Southern, United States

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Special Friends, Vulnerablity and the Contructive Personality

A former Episcopal priest I know is a brilliant, dynamic man. He talked with me about our "constructive personality." Our constructive personality is our part-real, part-fake public persona. Our constuctive personality hides a wounded, confused core. He helped me to understand more about my contructive personality because he knew much about his own constructive personality. It was the reason he was no longer a priest.

Feeling odd, out of sorts, or uncomfortable are common feelings among ADDers. The consequence of this for many ADDers (especially inattentive types) is that they learn to be withdrawn, reserved, and very selectively social. One hidden feeling in many ADDers is that if you really knew our true core, you would not accept us and would feel that we are truly, truly bizarre. We live feeling a disconnect between our outer, constructive personality and our true personality that hides deep inside of us.

This brings me to one of the special people in my life. When I met her, I could tell that she was quite shy and reserved. If you talk with her she will open up, but does not volunteer much. She is very intelligent. She has a great sense of humor and really likes to laugh. She is loyal to friends and loving to family. She is a determined, goal oriented individual. She is a very beautiful yet very enigmatic person.

The special bond that exisits for me is a bond created by vulnerability. She knows a part of my core personality that I do not share with others. She is the only friend I have that knows and understands this part of me. With her, I can let go of my constructive personality and be very open. I can talk with her about my ADDness. I can be more genuine than I can be with others.

As I've been able to be open with her, she now senses that she may also be ADD. For me, that is not a great surprise but is a very unique coincidence. In the time that I have known her she has helped me, both directly and indirectly, to understand much about myself. I just hope that I can help her as much as she as already helped me.

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